The Couch Conundrum



The itchy time is here as we grow in our winter coats. I’ve been hanging out in the front room lately. I lounge under the coffee table and every once in a while, I feel a light breeze – quite nice.

It’s annoying when Abby comes, though, because she’s so fidgety. She can never just sit still and enjoy the moment. She’s thinking about what’s under the couch, or if the human is paying attention to her. Always the attention seeker! She’ll even do the rabbit purr when the human cuddles her.

Now a rabbit doesn’t simply just hop out to the front room when he feels like it. No! Some major handling has to be endured along with coat ruffling before we are let loose. I believe the human calls this “snuggle time with the buns.” It’s when we have to socialize with the humans and it’s awful! Well… some of the time. I mean it’s nice to get nose rubs and treats but other than that I hate getting picked up. It takes forever to lick my coat back into place. I prefer to be admired from afar because I already know how adorably chubby-cheeked I am, so please, humans, just leave your offerings at a respectable rabbit distance.


Abby (left) and Axel (right) hanging out together.

Just the other day we were hanging out under the coffee table enjoying the cool autumn air. Abby decided she wanted to see what was under the couch. And every time I tell her not to go under, because we no longer fit there. But she doesn’t believe me; instead, Abby shoves herself under the couch and gets stuck. Her big fluffy butt sticking out, she begins to panic, drawing attention. A kerfuffle breaks out and Abby is carried back to our bunny loft, only to return and pout. With narrow eyes and crinkled whiskers, Abby sulks about her scolding. The “rabbit stink eye” is one of the few things Abby does brilliantly. She really follows through with it, committing to it for days.


I’ve tried to show Abby the shortcut back to the bunny loft but she’s never taken it. I know all the ins and outs of this place because I’m the Top Bunny. For instance, if I don’t want to get caught I know to do a diagonal leap to the human’s bedroom rug and head straight for the bathroom to hide, or I just hop about in circles. You see, hardwood flooring to rabbits and other small critters is like molten lava. If we’re not careful we slip and slide, having very little control and making it very unpleasant to run on. In order to out-hop the humans, a house rabbit must rug-jump-high and land with control.


Well our Abigail is still learning. After giving a respectable amount of stink eye to the humans, she tells me she’s leaving and will face the long stretch of molten lava. A little running rug has been placed halfway between the front room and the hallway where our big runway mat is. Abby sees it as an opportunity to run faster. Scattering about, she makes it to the little rug. Instead of slowing down to collect herself and turn for the hallway, she speeds up and misses. Her back feet spring out from under her as she crashes into these boxes that have weird, white arrows in a triangular shape. It’s a whole performance really as we ALL can’t help but watch in amazement. She then pushes a box out of the way and manages to leap off.


There are loud thumps of exasperation from Abby that last well into the night about the whole couch conundrum. Ah! It’s just one of the many interruptions I endure as I plunk myself down and write about house rabbit business!


Axel snoozing after a 'long' day

Binky on, my Friends,

Axel