Well, it must be that time of year again because the humans are being extra chummy while buzzing around the house.
The air is rich with scents of cinnamon and closely packed humans so it must be the holidays. I’m writing to tell you what I want for Christmas, not that you and your seven arctic hares have paid any care to my Christmas wishes in the past. Alas, I still write to you, ever hopeful.
This year I want my bunny castle, but not just any castle. I want the Downton “Abby” Manor with secret passageways that only I can hop into. I’d also like extra maid services and be the only rabbit in this house, but whatever. To fill my little bunny stocking, I’d like my own play tunnel in soft sage green. Axel has been a real tunnel hogger! He goes in there just to stretch out his big fluffy feet. The humans think it’s cute and take pictures, but when do I ever get to play in it?!
I’ve noticed lately he’s lost his joie de vivre. I think it’s his midlife bunny crisis – after all, he is 4 years old. All he does is sleep, eat and groom and then eat some more. Whenever I hop over to say hi, he runs into the bunny tunnel and passes out! I think he does this to avoid me… So, I want my Manor to be big, with lots of hidden toys and a straw mat to chew on.
I’ve been a super good bunny all year long. I haven’t bitten anyone, even with all the obsessive human cuddling that’s been happening. I’ve kept the toys out of the water bowl and have restrained myself from digging in front of the laundry room even though that’s the best hiding place in the whole house.
Axel isn’t even in the running this year for the Best Bunny Ever. I deserve a little reward for all my troubles and don’t think I’m asking too much when I say I want the Downton “Abby” Manor with up-graded cleaning services and my own tunnel and having it all to myself.
So please, Santa Paws, do think it over. I’m counting on you.
P.S. Enclosed is what I currently put up with.